Hi Cher. Yes there is beauty in ” being sexless”. Isn the past many amongst my friends misunderstood me as gay. I also have a friend who is almost 80% sexless being and he/she have different set of problems. It means suppression of desire which means that he/she don’t need sex and this is actually related or connected with very old practices in Taoism, Buddhism (etc) or the books that he/she reads. As you know there are many monks who cut their penises to be a monk and not only monks but something else. But this is not what I mean when I say sexless being. Sorry that I have to explain a bit because I have been dealing with this and have been trying to improve it for so many years and I think it is still a long way for me. And sorry again that this may sound “preachy”.
I think there is “wholeness” in/of the term “sexless” which is not entirely talking about sex but “the way of seeing”. How do we see things? There are many good writers who talk about this but I dont want to namedrop here. The essence of this topic “the way of seeing” is basically questioning/looking at what have been conditioned in your mind since childhood and that’s one of the first things you need to be free from. It’s not so easy because this culture of conditioning is a little bit more tha n 2 million years if I’m not exaggerating here. Most of the great buildings in the world are not made by men or women but slaves. As you know slaves have no sex in the “master’s” eye. You can also say that slaves are equal to animals and their livelihood is not “very important”.
I have a daugther who is about 9 years old now. The problem for many years is that I always forget that she is a girl until both of us go to the toilet naked and play with water (everyday). If it rains I have a raincoat for her and we go out and play also. I just want her to play with anything that will interest her. I am thinking that if there is anything I can teach her or show her which she sees we can “play” with, not so much fight with. For about 4 years my (ex) wife has been telling me that “she is a girl!”. I think I already understand that she is a girl when I saw her struggling to come out from the womb. I don’t want to keep on telling her that she is a girl. How to be a girl? How to be a boy? I can’t understand both of it. I just want to know how deep is the fear inside her and for me that’s the most important thing. To be free from fear and basically we can do anything. If the speakers are 50kg I think we can use a trolley or some shit machine to carry them. Did the ants or bee make their house with their tongue and wings? No nails, glue, screw drivers, hammers, etc. Did you notice how ants carry something very heavy considering their physical conditions?
I can’t go on here explaining but my point here is that when you think as a sexless human being; when you see ants you don’t think of the words ants or if you see green the words do not register or if you see a boy it does not mean he can carry a gun or big speakers. Basically you are free from terminology and conditioning. If you are free from terminology nothing can bring you down and that’s also when you are fearless and in fact peaceful.
My daugther always asks me, “Can I do that or this?”. It means that at home, school, etc, she is told to do things the way girls do things. And it is only when she’s with me she can do whatever she wants to do. It’s ok just do it, and I want to say it’s not about freedom but the way you see or saw things.
A man or woman is not all the time a man or woman. It’s the same with ants and whales and trees; it is depending on your way of seeing and not the way you think you understand it. A sexless being does not judge but attempts to understand and experience each individual as a being. Human being, man or boy they are not the most important existence. Not until you can see them the way they are.
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